Monday, May 24, 2010

May 24, 2010

The sun is shining (between rains anyway), the birds are chirping, the feeling of growth is floating through the spring air… and I feel like beating my head against a brick wall. I’ve debated this particular blog entry all weekend. I believe that trying to keep a positive frame of mind is really important when you are attempting to make progress (which I am). I also think that roadblocks and frustrations come along to make us look at where we are and make sure we are still heading in the right direction. However, my May feels like it should have a big banner draped across it that says “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” Frustration of this magnitude is enough to make me want to drown the horse by trying to force it out of dehydration. This type of mood is perfect bait for my inner micro-manager. It also makes me wonder if I’ve chosen the right direction. Scary thought. Scarier to share. Very unproductive no matter what angle you look at it from. The good thing is that deep down I know I can’t force anyone but me to do anything – no matter how much they need to catch up with school, remember to acknowledge important dates, stop trying to make me be responsible for their bad behavior and the chaos that comes as payment for it, etc. I can only make my feet walk on my own path and I can only make myself drink from the water in front of me. And believe me I have no intentions of withering away – even on a day like this. So here is what I’m on my way to this week:
I’ve got the rest of the illustrations for Clyde to finish. Then I’m going to get them all scanned and set in their spots at the beginning of each chapter. I’m also going to make a decision on background color for the cover and finish that. As for a positive channel for this mood… look out weeds, here I come. Minimum: the flower bed between the house and garage, but I’m sure not going to limit myself on how many I can work on. By Friday when I update, I figure I’ll either have worked my way through the mood, into an epiphany or need a nap. No matter what, I’ll be closer to my goals, which is always a good thing.

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