November 29, 2010

Ah, the unscheduled break from blogging. It was sooo needed! I spent the time in a foul mood which the family definitely didn't like, and wallowed around until I figured out that I've completely gotten off track with WHY I am doing what I do. The WHY is so very important too. There I was, doing something I love doing; curled up in the beautiful ability to let my creativity flow out of me; getting hugged by kids that I don't know who read the words I wrote and loved them... and I was sad, whiny and not just a little angry with the whole deal. What the heck????? So I dug around in the muck in my head, lanced a few "bad feeling boils" that had grown on my overly sensitive artist's soul, and realized that I had lost the WHY of it all. I got caught up in how many people aren't reading what I babble on about here, or visiting my website. I felt like the support system I have just didn't get what the heck they are supposed to do. I fussed about how many books I still have to sell, and how some people seem to be upset with me for not putting out the book THEY wanted me to put out this time. I got lost in being lost.
Then I got sick of it... well, and those near and dear to be got sick of it too. Time to get a fresh perspective. Time to revisit the WHY. Oh yeah, the WHY is because it makes me a better person! The crud that got stuck to me in the process became the focus and made me a worse person. Time to scrape the crud off, and get back to the good part. I can't expect everyone to "Get" what I'm doing. I have wonderful people who DO though, and I need to focus on them instead of the ones who aren't interested - chances are I'm not overly interested in what they do either, we are just different people that way. Mostly, I need to remember that writing and illustrating make me happy, so that's what I need to do. If they go somewhere and make someone else happy as well, GREAT! If not, well that's okay too. No matter how I look at it the stories still make me smile to write, and the words still need me to get them on paper, so that's what I need to do. Ta-DA! Perspective re found. Things are looking up (just check the picture for proof!)
In accordance, this week I will be On My Way To untangling the last of the bad mood tendrils and getting an idea of which project needs my attention first. Here's to a much more positive week than the last one!